update.

hello there. it's so freakin boring here at home. good thing we have practice for recognition tomorrow. i really need someone to talk to. speaking of which, i haven't talked to my friends for a long time. maybe because i'm too lazy to text, chat or whatever. i'm ignoring them, not because i'm mad. maybe because i need time for myself to think. yes, for these past days all i do is think. think of what going to happen if this and that happens. i guess i think mostly about the future, and what's going to happen. to be honest, this summer is filled with sadness. SADNESS. and most of all, FEAR. sadness and fear. very compatible to make someone not to enjoy their summer. i feel sadness because my thoughts from the past constantly comes back. and i realized that i've made a lot of mistakes. mistakes that i can never change. i realized that i was totally a bad person. a person no one would like to meet at all. FEAR. because as i think of what's ahead of me, and if i'm able to make it. i hope i can make it. but what if i don't make it? that's the question that makes me really fearful of future.

i don't know what i'm gonna do. help.

-C.